CrunchyCon to go!

2007-09-06T11:51:00.000-07:00

IT'S OFFICIAL

I have moved my blog to: http://browneyedmama.wordpress.com/

Please join me over there.

2007-08-27T08:18:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't posted in awhile. I started a new blog of which I will post everyday I am at work. Check me out at: http://lifesnotfair.wordpress.com/ Read the "Why?" page to learn what that blog is about. I'll still keep this one (likely moving it to the other site). This site will most likely be posted to about twice a week.

So on to my post. I had a fabulous birthday weekend. Nary a hitch in the plans. It was wonderful thanks to my mother and my husband. He did great despite a few set backs. My kids were wonderful and it was altogether a great birthday.

2007-08-20T07:49:00.000-07:00

Watching the twins walk over to the sliding glass door, peak out and laugh at their daddy while he grills up some steak for dinner, my mom says to me, "I'm so glad you had two of them."

Me, too, Mom. Me, too.

2007-08-14T07:04:00.000-07:00

Knitting. Did you know that I knit? Well, kind of knit. I'm a beginner, but I love it. I took it up so that I may knit wool soakers for the boys cloth diapers. But they are not in cloth anymore (yes, I know, my bad) and so I decided to knit the kids some hats for the winter. I found this really cute eyelet hat to knit for Little One. This past Saturday we went to Hobby Lobby to pick out the yarn. She found one in a pink, purple and white colorway that she really liked. And then she found several other yarns that she decided I could knit up for her. One at a time kiddo, one at a time. That Sunday, my mom was going to take her to the circus (which she loved, btw) and L.O. brings me the skein of yarn and says, "Mom, you can make my hat to wear to the circus!" Think again. Not only will it take me a long time to knit the dang thing (like, I'm hoping she'll be able to wear it this winter), but it's 108 degrees outside!

Side note: Anyone else creeped out by the scary mannequin head with severly arched eyebrows and eyes looking to the side on that knitting pattern?

2007-08-10T12:34:00.000-07:00

Oops!

Who is your Harry Potter love match? (for girls)

Tom RiddleMy, my. Talk about the bad boys. You want an intellectual match, and someone who will shake the world (and you!). Surrender to your inner darkness, and one thing is for certain: it won't be boring.
Take this quiz!

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2007-08-09T06:09:00.000-07:00

Two cute things.

1) Little One was helping clean our bathrooms this past weekend. And there is a book resting on the top of the toilet. While I'm washing the toilet bowl, she asks, "Momma? Why is this book here?" I answer, "So that we can have something to read while going potty." Her response, "Can you read it to me for bedtime?" "No honey. That book doesn't have pictures and it's waaaay too long for you." The book - Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand.

2) DH took Little One to The Little Gym last night (as he does every week) and afterwards went to one McD's for dinner. That particular one was having serious customer service issues, so he loaded her back into the car to go to another one. On the way there, she says to her daddy, "Daddy, are you sure you know where you are going?" OOPS! I guess she's heard me say that too many times. Sorry honey.

2007-08-08T05:43:00.000-07:00

I don't deal with death well. The last person that I knew who died was my grandfather when I was 15. But I knew he was dying, so it was easier to accept. Plus, I was a selfish teenager. I didn't cry until his 21 gun salute (WWII veteran). Four years ago, our beloved furry baby, Loki died from kidney failure. To this day, I still get teary-eyed thinking of him. I still talk to him while I'm dusting his remains on my nightstand.

Two people I care very dearly for had profound losses this week. One close in-law and one furry baby. I really don't know what to say to my friends, other than I am sorry for your loss. I wish there was more I can do, but please know that I am thinking of you.

2007-08-06T06:17:00.000-07:00

Thank you for putting in words what so many of us feel. Sometimes it's tough dealing with a three year old. They can be so sweet and so darn frustrating.

...but I know you act that way around us because we are your parents. It’s natural to lose your shit in front of us. This was the exact dynamic I had with my mother my entire childhood, and I can remember many instances when the mere sight of her face would make me crumble into a sobbing pile of mush because I had been needing to let go like that, and she was the only one I could trust with the privacy of that emotion. Sometimes you have really bad days and you need to cry about it, and I’m glad that you love us enough to do it in front of us. I know that sounds strange, but that’s what love is, being able to confide in someone that everything isn’t okay, and trusting that they will listen.
-- www.dooce.com

2007-08-02T11:13:00.000-07:00

L.O. has been going to The Little Gym once a week now for a few weeks and she loves it. It's time for her and Daddy only. After TLG, they go out to eat at the "Cheeseburger King." So I ask her, "Did you have fun playing at The Little Gym?" She then rolls her eyes at me and says, "Mom. It's not playing it's exercising!" Good grief, child. Cut your mom some slack. TLG offeres a Parent's Night Out twice monthly and we are signed up for the next one - merely because her new friend is going to be there. So we are going to pay them $18 to watch our kid while we take the twins out to dinner. I'm thinking (if I can convince my mom) that we will drop the twins off at home and DH and I could go have a few drinks before we have to pick her up. At least she will get to play with children her own age.

Now where is that list of preschools DH had for me?

2007-07-30T05:51:00.000-07:00

Thanks for your concern everyone. I'm usually more composed than that, but when it's more than one emotionally wrenching event, it becomes difficult. And you know what? If I didn't care so much, if I didn't love so much, it wouldn't be that bad.

2007-07-27T10:32:00.001-07:00

One sure way to keep your boss out of your way: cry uncontrollably at your desk. It keeps most co-workers away as well.

2007-07-24T10:49:00.001-07:00

Go to The Garden in Rants and Raves to find out the results!

2007-07-24T06:03:00.000-07:00

WOW. I guess I freaked a few of you out? Or all 5 of you too busy to read (and comment)? LOL!

So in about 30 minutes (or so) I should get a call from DH about a job for which he interviewed. It's an engineering position on DAY SHIFT. He is supposed to be talking to HR about the offer as I type this. I'm so excited. I hope it's a good offer!

2007-07-20T14:37:00.000-07:00

Lazy. That's me. I've been a lazy blogger. I could have come up with some posts, but then I would have had to try and be creative. So nothing. How about a meme?

Five things that I use to want/do, but I won't:

A tattoo. I had the design and location, just didn't have the money. Now that I have the money, I don't want the tat.
Sports car. I could (potentially) but I have three kids. And I go grocery shopping.
Sky diving. I think I would still love to do this, but am scared something would happen to me and I would never see my kids grow up.
A three way. Yes, I said it. I won't do it now because I love my husband and we don't need/want kinky bedroom stuff to keep us satisfied. At least I think we don't?
Travel to Africa and the Middle East. Duh.

2007-07-13T11:12:00.000-07:00

So I noticed that my vacation post didn't have the good parts of NJ in it. My hosts were fabulous and their daughter is so sweet. SB made the best food. Korean BBQ to die for. Recipe please? It was sad leaving but hopefully we will be up that way again. B and LC were fighting over whose house I would stay in when my family visits the DC area. B's got the right kid combination but LC sews stuff for me. Hrm. Maybe a little of both? Thanks ladies, I had a blast.

2007-07-10T10:01:00.000-07:00

I'm back! Excited? I am! I got to meet some of my very best friends (I would link to the fourth friend, but she has no blog and I've been waiting freaking years for her website. LC? Are you listening?). I had a wonderful time and LO keeps talking about how much fun she had on vacation. I think the boys are just happy to be home though. Poor guys. Just a few little stories about our trip.

The last day in NJ, I fed the boys breakfast in their portable(ish) booster seats that buckle to dining room chairs. I pulled the bib and tray off of T1, turned around to set them on the counter, turned back around to unbuckle him and he leaned forward. At that moment, the buckle holding the booster seat to the chair failed and T1(still strapped to the booster seat) fell forward and landed on my friend's beautiful, yet hard, tiled floor. I picked him up and blood was gushing. I mean GUSHING. This is the most blood I've seen coming from one of my kids. I knew I would be visiting the ER and seeing a lot of blood with these guys, but I wasn't quite ready for it. BUT! But, I didn't panic. Multiple paper towels and a failed attempt at ice was how we got the blood to stop. I even got him to laugh. His forehead, nose and chin were bruised and he had bloody boogers for a day, but he's fine.

Later that day, we went to a local park. It was a beautiful day and we had all my friends (except Jules-that was a different park) and their kids. The girls all played together and enjoyed the swings, slides and fake-tire swing. When we approached the park, I saw a man taking pictures of a company picnic that was at the park. He had a very expensive camera/lens, so I assumed him to be a professional. It wasn't until I saw that he was taking pictures of kids playing at the playground that I got suspicious. I read this book and one of the scary things to look out for is a stranger taking pictures at child events. I watched this guy a little, but I had three kids and they insisted on my attention. A little while later, this photographer approached me. Speaking in a heavy Cambodian accent (Impressed? Don't be. He told me he was from Cambodia), he told me he was a photographer for the New York Times and showed me his numerous press credentials. He really liked the pictures he took of the kids, LC and myself and wanted to email them to me. He said that he would be submitting them to the newspaper, "but you never know what they are going to publish." Anyway, I was still leery, but my email address is OK to give out. That night I checked my email and there they were, 3 pictures. He didn't even solicit anything from me. So here is one of the pics. Notice the twins in one swing - super cute (thanks, LC)!

So that is L.O. in the swing, "way up high!" And that is B pushing the boys in swing. He didn't send me the best shots and I am going to assume because he was submitting them to be published, but I did get to see them on his camera. Anyway, it was kind of cool!

The Tappen Zee Bridge is how we crossed the river to get to our final destination of Massachusetts. We left NJ around 5:15pm. At 7:30pm, this fatal accident occurred. I estimate that we crossed the bridge about 6:45pm. That bridge was closed for 9 hours. I would have hated to have left NJ any later than we did.

Nothing much dramatic happened the rest of the trip. L.O. experienced her first real fireworks show and she got to play with some sparklers, "Look Momma! I'm a fairy!" I met Jules and her two little girls. They are so precious and Julie is a hottie (just ask my husband). We played in the park and Julie packed a picnic lunch for everyone. And when I say everyone, I mean the entire park could have eaten and she still would have had leftovers! It was fabulous though! She is such a sweetie and I wish we would have just had some time for us girls instead of taking care of our kids. Maybe next time Julie?

We drove home down I-95 to end up in Asheville, NC. I hated the drive. Although a major thoroughfare, there were numerous back ups that made our drive about 2.5 hours longer than it should have. Which sucked because we left 2 hours later than planned. Oh well. We made it! And Asheville, NC is lovely. Just lovely.

2007-06-28T08:08:00.000-07:00

Two things:

First, our home's air conditioning unit died yesterday. And guess what? My amazing, wonderful, smart and handsome husband was able to fix it with hardly any cost at all. I love you honey. Oh and the best part, he didn't call me at work to tell me it was broken. Because had he done so, I would have been sick with worry all day, but instead he fixed it! YAY DH!!!

Secondly, I've been meaning to post more cute things L.O. has said. The other day, L.O. required my mom's attendance during an afternoon poop. (yes, I said "poop" - more potty talk) So there are sitting there and L.O. toots and my mom asks, "Did you just toot?" And L.O. says, "No. That was my heiny breathing." Then, a few moments later, she toots again only this time it was one of those bubble-y sounding kind (you know what I mean) and my mom asks her, "So was that your heiny breathing again?" Without missing a beat, L.O. responds with, "No. That was my heiny saying 'Achoo'!"

Too funny. And no, I don't know where she gets these things.

2007-06-22T11:59:00.000-07:00

Sometimes they say the cutest things. The following conversation occurred last night - after the second attempt at putting Little One down for the night.

L.O. : "My Princess Pillow is special, right Momma?"
Me: "Yes, honey. Special like you."
L.O. : (holding my face with both her hands) "God made you special too Momma!"
[thank you Veggie Tales]
Me: (laughing) "Yes, he made me special too."
L.O. :"God made Daddy, wery, wery, wery, awfuwy, awfuwy, wery, wery...funny. Because he likes to tell me jokes and play the Hokey-Pokey."

I can't wait to hear what the twins are going to come up with in the future.

2007-06-21T14:17:00.000-07:00

This time next week, I hope to be on the road for a long (and probably painful) trip with DH and the three kids. Just to warn everyone, I will not be on the Internet much. I will check email and the Garden, but I will likely not post on this blog. Unless I get board on vacation with the entire family. I am not getting nervous (much) and that might be because I love road trips or it might be due to the large amounts of alcohol I consume. I haven't figured it out yet.

I am really excited about all of the friends I am going to meet. You know, the people I've been friends with for years, but have never technically met them. It should be fun and I hope they are prepared to help me with the twins! If you've ever wondered what it's like to have twins, come join us - I'll show you!

2007-06-20T07:28:00.000-07:00

My wonderful, sweet DH was able to get an extra day off (early) for our trip. That means he can take care of the kids on the last day of work instead of me finding a babysitter willing to watch my kids or me pissing off my boss. Thank you, honey! You are wonderful.

So here's the deal. For that last two mornings, Little One has woken up at 6:30 a.m. That's TWO AND A HALF HOURS before she normally wakes. I really hope this is not a trend. Although, I love seeing her before I got to work in the mornings. My poor mom though.

2007-06-14T12:04:00.000-07:00

***Warning: I will be discussing poop.***

Rub-a-dub-dub, three kids in a tub. It's so very cute when all three of the children take a bath together. Sure, it's a two adult job, but we get them all in, clean and tired. Last night was bath night. Once we got all of them in the tub, I told DH to go ahead and go downstairs for more coffee and maybe get a few minutes of quiet. While the children were playing in the tub, I decided to clean the toilet. Make good use of my time. As I look over at the tub to check on them, I see that one of the boys is straining - head red and making the poop face. Oh geez! Little One is over 3 years old and we hadn't had a pooping in the tub incident yet. I moved the bubbles away from him to see if it was just gas (as I hoped it was). Oh no, I was not that lucky. Now, I am by myself with a three year old and two one year olds. So I get L.O. out of the tub and tell her to go downstairs and get Daddy. They both come back and I hand off the non-pooping boy to Daddy. When T1 finishes his poop, I scoop him up and get the tub to drain. It takes about 20 minutes to get all the kids, dry, diapered (or pantied) and in pajamas. I offered to DH to either stay downstairs will all the kids or clean up the bath mess. Guess what he chose? So by the time I got to clean it up, the offending mess had absorbed all that water. Let's just say it was disgusting. Also, we have a mat in the bottom of the tub to keep the kids from slipping. This mat has dozens of little suction cups. Guess who had to clean each and every one of those damn suction cups? I should have just thrown that mat out.

The good news: Toilet and the tub are now clean and disinfected.

2007-06-13T06:49:00.000-07:00

I'm a firm believer in karma. Do good and good things will happen. So, WTF have I been doing to elicite negative karma (and no ladies, I don't mean on the Board)? On the way to my twin mom's meeting last night, I heard a sound coming from my rear wheel well and looked in my rear-view mirror. I saw chunks of debris flying out. I slowed down, turned off the radio and put both hands on the 10-2 position on the stearing wheel - bracing for the blowout. You see, a couple of weeks ago my tire was looking low on air. After my step-father filled it with air, he told us that the tread was looking bad on the back tires. DH and I were planning on replacing the tires after our vacation, so we had to up that a bit. After careful and thorough research, DH found the tires he wanted and ordered them. Yesterday, the tire people called and said our tires were in. Great. Back to the freeway and bracing for a blowout. It never happened. I noticed no change in how the van handled, nor any weird noices/vibrations/what-have-you. So I chalked it up to possible debris in the road that I somehow did not see before hand. I get to my meeting and because I was running late, I did not inspect my van. After the meeting, I headed straight for the tire - it was dangerously low and missing much of it's tread. As in, chunks and lots of them. Thank goodness for Roadside Assistance. Well worth the money. This nice guy came and changed my tire for me. And I made it home safely.

Now, is it bad karma that my tire did this last night? Or is it good karma, that my tires waited until the new ones came in before they died? Discuss.

2007-06-12T10:35:00.000-07:00

I'm cranky today. I have a bunch of work to do and I don't want to do it. Nothing exciting is happening online and my boss is being a (dick) not very nice. The day we are suppose to leave on vacation, I was intending on working most of the day. However, my mom is having surgery on her knee that day. Nothing serious, but it needs to be done so that she can mostly recover before we get back. That means I don’t have anyone to watch my kids. Sure DH will be home, but he won’t be getting home from work until 8am. So he is going to need to get some sleep. I told my boss about my predicament a few days ago. Today he tells me that I have to work that day. I told him that if I cannot find someone to watch my kids, that I will not be working that day. What is he going to do? Fire me? Oh sure, he is in a bad mood because his back problems are flaring up, but he doesn’t quite understand that a woman who will be starting her period in a week, really doesn’t give a shit.

2007-06-11T07:45:00.000-07:00

She's 3 years old, but is starting to act 13. I'm not ready. I know that she is going to be a typical pre-teen/teenager female with hormones and attitude and PMSing and all that. But I should not have to be dealing with it now. On Saturday, my mom and I were playing with the boys and Little One wanted something, I cannot remember what but it is not relevant, and I told her she will have to wait a moment as I was busy with the boys. The look she gave me was one that I was not expecting for another 9-10 years. Serious attitude! After the look, she walked upstairs (occasionally looking over her shoulder and giving me the same look) and into her room and then she slammed the door! My mom and I looked at each other in awe - and then we started cracking up. A few moments later, L.O. came downstairs (same look to me), grabbed Princess Pillow and went back upstairs to her room - slamming the door again. I wish I could have that moment on film. Priceless. My mom told me it was practice for later.

I guess I should be thankful that she went to her room instead of staying downstairs and giving me attitude.

2007-06-07T06:26:00.000-07:00

They are one! Well, they've been one since Sunday, but Mommy is lazy. Anyway, here is a couple of pictures. Aren't they adorable! The top picture is T2 on the right and the bottom is T1 on the right. They are so darned big! Their ready-to-wear size is 24 months. I'm thinking they will stay in that size (or 2T) size for awhile. At least I hope so! They had their 12 month well baby check yesterday and are both in the over 95% range. Surprise, surprise. Normal, happy and healthy 12 month-old babies. I still get to call them babies, as they are not toddling yet. Yet. They cruise pretty well and will occasionally stand on their own before falling. Last night, the gate protecting them from the evil stair well was left open (ahem) and while Mommy was washing dishes all the kids were playing. My mom calls me from her stair well, "[insert my name here], do you know where your boys are?". "Playing," was my response. "Well, you better come see where they are!" T1 was at the top of the stairs heading for his sister's room and T2 was one step behind him. Those stinkers!!! Boys are nothing but trouble. TROUBLE!

T1 is the quieter, yet more aggressive boy. He saves his smiles and laughs for when he really means it. He is all over the place and getting into so much trouble. He loves it when his sister rough houses with him. She'll push him on the ground and roll all over him and he just laughs and laughs. He is a biter though. His poor brother has been bitten more often than I can count, but he doesn't save biting for his brother either. Grandma, Mommy, Daddy and Sissy are all victims.

T2 is always laughing (unless he just got bit by his brother). He will play by himself well, but likes to play with a new thing every 30 seconds. You point a camera and him and he starts smiling like crazy. It's hilarious. He too, enjoys rough housing with his sister. And he loves, LOVES, LOVES balls. He'll roll on his back and bang two of his Roll-A-Rounds together and think it's the funniest thing ever. So adorable.

They both eat like crazy. We keep joking that instead of saving for college, we are saving for the grocery budget. These boys eat all day. And a decent amount of it too. They are also always moving. Little One would be content playing in the same room/area for a decent amount of time, but these boys... They are all over the living room/dining room area. Crawling, climbing, cruising, playing - you name it! It's very funny, but very tiring. I'm not sure how we are going to keep up when they start walking. And running - FORGET IT!

I love these boys. They are so squishy and sweet (and sour). I can't get enough of them.

Happy Birthday boys! Mommy loves you more than you can possibly imagine.

2007-06-05T09:04:00.000-07:00

You know when you plan a big vacation and you have this budget, that things are not going to work out as planned. Not only did gas prices exceed what I budgeted, we are needing new tires before our road trip. We had planned on replacing tires after the trip. I guess we are doing it sooner. Plus, there are a few things we need to buy. DH needs some jeans from this decade, new shoes and bathing suits for both of us and I need some shorts that don't make my knee fat so apparent. Despite the financial upheaval, we are still moving forward.

2007-06-04T09:09:00.000-07:00

I forgot to tell y'all that I became a great-aunt last month. My oldest sister's oldest son had a baby boy. I'm not as much freaked out that my oldest sister is a grandma (although, that is kind of weird to me), but that mom is a great-grandma. My mom is only 55 years old.

2007-05-31T14:10:00.001-07:00

My sister (and family) moved back to Arizona this morning. It just wasn't working out for them here. I really wish it would have, but I am also somewhat glad they went back. They were much happier there and they have my BILs family for support. I cried all of last night and most of today. Even though I cannot live with my sister, I love her very much. Of all of my 4 siblings, she and I are the closest. I really hope they can get their shit together to make a better life for themselves, but my hope is weak. If they moved out here for a better start in life and couldn't do it, I doubt they will succeed back in Arizona.

*sigh* I guess I can't fix everything.

2007-05-30T10:54:00.000-07:00

Geez! Bad blogger! I have not posted in awhile. Since the last post, I have been very sick, then on my period, then very busy, then on vacation and now very busy again. However, I have not forgotten my loyal (6) readers.

So the best thing happened to me, yet I feel some guilt over it. A very good friend of mine told me that she will be coming down with her family (all 6 of them) in a RV over the Memorial Day weekend. She must have been drunk when she decided, but I benefitted, so I did not say anything. Anyway, we decided to go camping. Made reservations for the campsite and invited some of my family to join. Eagerly awaiting my friend and her family to arrive, I got off of work early and made it home. They showed up a few minutes later. I haven't seen my friend's new baby (okay, well she's a year old) and was excited to meet her. So as I entered the RV and was making cutie faces at the baby, someone walked out of the back of the RV. It was my TWISTED SISTER!!! I cannot tell you how excited/happy/elated I was at the time. Of course I squealed like a little girl. My friend/sister/twin(only she's about 10 years younger than me) is someone I have wanted to see in person and hang with for so friggin long. You see, the wonderfully generous women of our web board secrectly collected money and paid for her flight to my little town in the South. I have spoken of how generous and thoughtful these ladies are and here is an example of more of their generosity. There are really not enough words for me to express how I feel. Except a small part of me feels guilty. They have done this before for me. They raised money and bought my family things we needed for the twins and now they have raised money to fly one of my bestest friends out to see me. This trip was really for all three of us. I know that. But still feel a little guilty that I benefitted.

We had a wonderful time. Next time all three of us get together, it will have to be in a less buggy environment. And maybe sans kids!

2007-05-16T12:25:00.000-07:00

I'm next. In my close group of Garden friends, three of us had our second (and for me third) babies all within a month of each other. As of today, two of the babies have turned a year old. In 18 short days, my beautiful boys will be ayear old. I'm excited and nervous. I know what lies ahead, yet it will still be filled with wonderful surprises. I don't have the pangs that a lot of women have with their last babies. These are my last babies and I am thankful. I have everything I could ever hope for in my children. My family is perfect.

2007-05-14T06:32:00.000-07:00

What makes me a mommy? Or more precisely, when do I feel most like a mother? I've been thinking about that since this post. That's a hard question. I can't really narrow it down. The middle of the night feedings, nightmare, or vomit patrol? Or the constant reminders to L.O. to "go give potty a chance"? I really don't know. I think I feel like a mom all of the time. Even at work. I am always wanting to call my mom and check on the kids, but I never know when would be a good time and I don't want my mom to think I don't trust her - because I do trust her. My point being that I feel like a mommy most of the time. And I really don't mind that at all. If I define myself as a mother, then I am doing a good thing.

In relation to the above paragraph, L.O. and I were playing in her room on Friday night. She was the mommy, I was the big kid and T1 and T2 were my little brothers. She was making us a dinner (complete with apron - "like mommy wears") of cookies and cake. When L.O. plays like this, she uses different voices. When she is the Daddy, she uses a deeper voice, when she plays like a baby, she uses a baby voice. When she plays Mommy, she uses a slightly higher voice than her own, but it's always a happy, nurturing tone. She is always sweet to "her kids" and makes sure they have everything they want. I was watching her Friday and almost started crying, because if this is how she plays Mommy, then this is how she sees her Mommy. And that, my readers, is the best Mother's Day gift ever.

(and in case you were wondering, DH did exactly what I wanted for Mother's Day. A simple gift from the kids, that was child-related. I had a great Mother's Day and I hope everyone else did as well)

2007-05-07T11:41:00.001-07:00

If you are lost, email or comment here I will send a link that might help. You know who I am talking to.

2007-05-07T07:51:00.000-07:00

The twins have been sick. We had fevers on Thursday and Friday, but they responded to ibuprofen, and had no other "real" symptoms. Teething or some random virus was to blame. As of last night, they were feeling better, but still a little cranky. There is one thing I am concerned about: T2 has not pooped in 5 days. This is not like him. He's a once-a-dayer. About every 10 days, he'll skip a day, but it's consistant. I was thinking his digestive trouble and their crankiness was related to the switch from formula to cow's milk. So on Thursday, we switched the boys to rice milk. Their sister was on rice milk for two years, so it doesn't surprise me. Three days later and no poop. So yesterday I gave T2 a glycerin suppository. Poor guy. Still nothing. I guess I'll be coming home with prune juice tonight.

Depite all the crankiness, T1 learned to climb the stairs on Saturday and has steadily been doing it since. T2 only goes 2 steps before he gets tired of it. So not only do we need to invest in a baby gate that will allow Little One to easily get through, I need to teach the boys how to climb down the steps. It was inevitable, but I would have prefered to wait.

2007-05-02T07:21:00.000-07:00

Big hugs to Nita and OC. I know the position you are in and I feel your pain. I've been finding it easier to back away than you. It doesn't mean that it has not been consuming me. I love you and support you. I am also thankful, that I am not alone.

2007-05-01T13:30:00.000-07:00

All of the sudden, a miracle happens.

Little One has been sleeping in a toddler bed since she was 18 months. Just after Thanksgiving last year, we bought her a "big girl princess bed" (or a daybed as most adults refer to it). So that means she has been sleeping in a bed for 19 months that she can get out it. Yet, she wouldn't. To clarify: she would get out of her bed to grab a book or toy but would climb back in. When she wakes in the morning, she was holler and cry for whomever to come get her. For months we would tell her that she can get out of bed by herself and come downstairs. She would say, "Okay" and move on. It never happened. Until Saturday. She woke, got out of bed, went to the bathroom, used the potty, grabbed her Princess Pillow, and came down stairs - all without any prompting from anyone. Then she did it again on Sunday. And again yesterday. I'm afraid to call my mom and ask about today. But can you believe it? Not only is she getting out of bed and coming downstairs - SHE IS USING THE POTTY!

2007-04-27T10:08:00.001-07:00

Teething sucks. Teething twins, sucks even more.

2007-04-25T08:35:00.000-07:00

Short post.

LO (sticking finger in my eye): "Momma. What's that on your eye?"
ME: "Mascara. Do you like it?"
LO:"No. It's scary!"

2007-04-24T09:48:00.000-07:00

My daughter says the funniest things. And it's pretty much all day long. Because, did you know that three-year-olds DON'T STOP TALKING? Anyway. She says and does the quirkiest things. For example, I came home from the grocery store yesterday and she likes to help put away the groceries. She would get so excited about every single item she took out of the bags and talk about it.

HER: "Momma! Look at this! What is it?!!"
ME: "Creamer for grandma's coffee."
HER: "Creamer! For grandma's coffee! That's so cool!"
HER: "Look! Big Band-Aids!"
ME: "Those aren't band-aids. They are panty liners."
HER: "That's so cool!"

It went on like that until we were done putting the groceries away. Later, DH told me that she brought bag down from her room and said, "Dad. I've got something for you!" And she preceeded to take each item out of the bag and gleefully discuss them.

My point is that she does these cute, funny things and I think about how lucky I am that I am going to have two more 3 year olds doing the same thing. Only this time, they'll be doing it at the same time. I'm so excited to see how that comes to fruition. I'm so happy to have these boys and watch them grow, like I've watched Little One. Each day I squeeze them tight and tell them how much I love them and it still never seems enough. I just can't wait. Because, that's so cool!

2007-04-17T09:41:00.000-07:00

I had quite an interesting weekend at home with my daughter.

But all of that is overshadowed by the tragedy at Virginia Tech.

I really have no words.

2007-04-13T06:23:00.000-07:00

OK. Now that I've built up the post, I'm thinking of not posting it because then y'all would read it and think, "all that drama for this?"

So I will post this in it's stead:

It has started. Yesterday, T1 bit T2 hard enough to leave a mark. I wasn't home for it, but my mom said T2 got over it quickly. The mark was still there when I got home from work. Then, while the boys were playing on the floor, T1 tried to bite T2 on the stomach. I guess he was in his way. I stopped T1 and said, "No! No biting!" He cried. I'm such the mean mommy.

In a related post, when Little One heard that T1 was biting T2, she said, "Bubby is not a chew toy." to her other brother. For those that remember, L.O.'s first week at the new daycare she attended in June 2005, she was bit 5 times. And then multiple times since, so I had her wear a shirt to school. This one:

(Look at my little girl. WAAAAAA!)

2007-04-12T11:53:00.000-07:00

I've had a post in my head for a couple of days but have been hesitant to post. I don't want to censor myself on my own blog, but this post could potentially make one of my bestest friends very sad. And I am not in the business of making my friends sad. However, myself and all of my other readers (5 or six of you) can relate to this post. So what should I do?

eta: The post I am thinking about has *nothing* to do with anyone else but me. It's actually a "feel good" post.

2007-04-10T06:19:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a fun summer. Those who know me can add a little sarcastic tilt to the word "fun". DH, all three kids and I are planning a road trip. Up to Pennsylvania, New Jersey and landing in Massachusetts to see the inlaws. Yes, we will have two one year olds and a three year old. And yes, we are crazy - just in case there was any doubt. While we are gone, my mother (primary care giver to our children) will be having knee surgery. She has had knee surgery before and told me that she took 12 days off of work for that. So hopefully our departure will allow for some recovery time. However, our boys will probably be around 30 pounds and NOT WALKING. They certainly won't be climbing stairs and hefting themselves in their cribs. I'm pretty sure my mom's orthopedic surgeon will not want her walking up stairs with 3o pounds of wigglingness a week after surgery. DH and I will need to figure something out. To ice the cake, my stepfather is expecting to be called for deployment to Iraq around that time. You know those 13,000 National Guards troops that have just been put on alert? He is number 11,296. His unit leader told him to expect to be called for training while our family is driving across the country.

Good times. Good times.

2007-04-02T07:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Little One's birthday party. She woke up excited. "Is it time to have cake?" LMAO! Everything went without a hitch, except for the turf war when we got there. I reserved the pavilion that is connected to the toddler playground at the park. When we showed up, there was already a birthday party set up. Complete with a banner, balloons and a cake. When I approached the lady sitting there, she said that the parks department told her that that pavilion was not reserved. She suggested I use the pavilion "over there." The one on the other side of the park. I repeated to her that I had this one reserved a month ago and then I proceeded to the bulletin board that has the schedule. Sure enough, my name was in that spot. It took her about 20 minutes to move all her stuff. We did get all set up and L.O. had a blast. She looked so cute, too. A friend made her a skirt with Lightning McQueen appliqued on it. She wore that, a red shirt and had her hair in pigtails. I made some korker bows that coordinated with Lightning McQueen for her hair. Adorable! And boy did she make out. I'm not sure what we are going to do with all her stuff. Her Papaw gave her a beautiful classic car pedal car for her birthday. She looks so sweet in it.

She told me and DH that it was the best party ever!

2007-03-28T05:38:00.000-07:00

My heart has been broken, ripped from my chest and stomped on.

My teenager (now 18) is no longer in my home. It did not end well. She is more like her mother than I could even imagine. She really did the unthinkable to us and one day, I hope to forgive her. For now, I am done with that portion of my family.

On a happy note, the boys will have their own room today. Mommy and Daddy can get ready for work with the lights on. We can sleep and HAVE SEX!!!

2007-03-26T07:32:00.001-07:00

I never knew it was possible to feel this strongly about someone. I feel a tug in my heart with the mere mention of your name, the mere thought of your presence. When I am away from you, I long only to be near you. You continue to amaze me everyday. That silly girl giggle always makes me smile. I love how you like to “scare” me when I come home from work. Waiting just inside the front door, you jump out and growl like a lion, then laugh hysterically. You always want to hop in my arms – no matter how full they already are. I let you anyway, because I know you won’t want to do this forever.

The things you say and the thoughts you put together show me how intelligent you are becoming. Sometimes daddy and I look at each other with wide-eyed amazement that you even came up with something so grown-up. You are so helpful and so kind. Always concerned about who is being nice and who is being mean. You follow directions really well and want to help cook dinner, play with your brothers or fix whatever is broken. You even want to help with the chores. Believe me, you will get plenty of chores to do around the house.

Your beauty astonishes me. I know I am your mother and I will always have a higher regard for your beauty than others. But you have the most amazing coloring (thanks to your dad). You are also starting to look a lot like me. What a perfect combination! I know one day you are going to want to cut your hair or even worse – dye your hair. I will probably cry actual tears and let you do it anyway. It is your hair after all. Right now, you don’t really care about your hair. You’ll let us brush it and put pretties in it, but you don’t really insist on doing it your way. Same with dressing you. The only thing you insist on is that your clothes match. That is perfectly fine with me. We will work on what socks match your outfits though. As you seem to pick the funniest color combinations.

You are a big girl now. Three years old. I use to dress you in little girl outfits, now I pick the older girl inspired clothes first. I’m not ready for you to grow up just yet. You seem to be helping with that my refusing to use the potty. I know you won’t be in diapers forever, but I would really appreciate it if you would start using the potty. Everything else can stay the same for a long time. You are starting to lose some of that “innocence of youth.” Not too much, but enough for your momma to notice.

Happy Birthday Little Girl. I love you more than you can imagine. You are such a joy in my life.

2007-03-23T06:14:00.000-07:00

See what I've done in boldtype.

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it (everyday for the rest of my life)
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea (from the beach)
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper (Everyday!!)
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger.
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark (YUM!)
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children/currently raising child
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour (does following a local band count?)
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read (Ayn Rand)
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life. (my own)

If you've read this consider your self tagged. I want to see all of my friends doing this! You too, DH!

2007-03-22T06:34:00.000-07:00

So annoyed at my boss. He's been out of town at a trade show in Las Vegas for almost a week. You know what he brought me back? Chocolate. Ghirardelli, yes. But still, it's chocolate. He knows and the co-worker (female) that went with him knows that I am trying to lose weight. It's nice that you thought of me while you were in Vegas, but I'd rather you come back with some crappy souvenior mug than chocolate that I cannot/should not eat. I guess I'll give it to DH and my mom. I need to give it to someone, since AF should be visiting next week which means the chocolate temptation will be at it's peak.

2007-03-20T08:33:00.000-07:00

I haven't been posting much, have I? Actually been a little busy at work. I'll throw this out there for you guys though.

What's in your CD/MP3/Satellite radio player? More specifically, what have you been listening to lately?

In my 6 disc changer in my van:

Counting Crows "August and Everything After"
Collective Soul "7even Year Itch" - the best, Best Of...ever
Billy Joel "The Stranger" - DH put this in and I haven't taken it out yet. I actually listen to most of the songs on it. Yes, I am dork.
R.E.M. "The Best of R.E.M." - lots of old school R.E.M.
The Allman Brothers "Mycology: An Anthology" - DH put this in. I rarely listen to it. Not that there is anything wrong with it. I'm just tired of "classic rock."
the soundtrack from "The Last Kiss" - this is an awesome soundtrack. I haven't even seen the movie, but DH took a chance that I would like it and he was right on!

OK - Lisa, SB, Beth, Kimberly, and anyone else who wants to play (like Nikki, Beth, Marita, Jules, Erika) - what's in your player?

2007-03-15T11:15:00.000-07:00

This Saturday is my 6th anniversary of being married. We just happened to of picked Saint Pat's day. It does hold some significance to us. Anyway. I've known my DH since high school. He is the older brother of one of my high school best friends. It took me 8 years to figure out that he was worth dating. It took me less than 8 weeks to realize he was the love of my life. You see, before him, I was NEVER going to get married and NEVER going to have kids. I was even in a relationship with a loser (and my stalking psycho) for 6 years and did not think about marriage or kids once. We lived together for three years before we got married and were married three years before we had kids. Each year we are together, we have faced extremely difficult challenges - all of which work themselves out in the end. But we never give up. We sometimes have to remind each other that together we can get through it. Our marriage isn't perfect. No one's is. But we are working on it. Making it work for us and our kids. Trying to show L.O., T1, and T2 what it should be like - so that they don't make the mistakes their grandparents made. My life is beautiful, joyous, uplifting and even sometimes sad. But I never want to share it without my husband. I love him dearly and no matter what, we will be together forever.

2007-03-12T06:34:00.000-07:00

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Oh dear god, I have a three year old.

2007-03-07T06:50:00.000-08:00

Maybe I need to work with her a little more. Little One seems to be getting gender-confused. Or maybe it's these images that are the problem. She keeps seeing this guy and asking, "Why is that man wearing girls clothes?" Or something to that effect. And everytime this image is on television:

She says, "There is something wrong with that guy. What's all over him?"

It's hilarious, because we see that picture of Lisa Nowak often due to the predominance of Fox News on our television. And every single time she sees that picture she says the same thing. I always correct her and tell her that it's a woman, but she is not buying it.

2007-03-01T07:05:00.000-08:00

My daughter will be three years old in a few weeks. Normally I would not be throwing a party for her. Yes, I would have cake and presents, but not the big theme party with guests and everything. However, DH has convinced her that she wants a party. So I guess we are having a party. *sigh*

So I asked her what kind of party she wants and here was our conversation:

"What kind of party do you want?"
"One with cake and presents!"
"You'll have cake and plenty of presents. Do you want a princess party?"
"Cars!"
"How about a ladybug party?"
"Lightning McQueen!"
"What about pirates?"
"Cars!"
"Are you sure you want a Lightning McQueen party?"
"Ya! Lightning McQueen!"
"Okay. Fine. What kind of presents do you want?"
"Pink and Purple. And blue. And green."
(sighing)"What do you want in the pink, purple, blue and green presents?"
"Lightning McQueen!"

Guess what her third birthday party theme is...

2007-02-23T10:04:00.000-08:00

It's weird how a pimple feels larger than it's actual size. Like, I can feel the pimple on my chin without touching it. It's that big! Then I look in the mirror and it's hardly noticeable. So good. Right? Well, the fact that I have a pimple only signifies one thing. AF will be visiting. She regularly visits every 28 days. She barely spots on the the first day, but it's a trick. She flows like a mo'fo' for the next 3 days, then spots for one more day. Then I have the "better-safe-than-sorry" day. Also, post-twin-partum has caused severe cramping for me. Enough so that my gynecologist wants to put me on birth control pills. Hello? I got a tubal so that I didn't HAVE to take BCPs. So forget it. Every cycle has be hoping that the cramping will reduce. So far, so good with this cycle.

On another personal note: read my update on the board.

2007-02-19T09:26:00.000-08:00

Things are already much (much) better. Thanks for all the words of encouragement.

We got our federal tax return and paid off a couple of major bills and got caught up on others, so we are both feeling a little better about finances. Yesterday we packed up all the kids and headed to Target. We left with a bag of pretzels and two shiney new car seats for our big ol' boys. They are the same style as Little One's just updated. It's a short little walk down the strip mall from Target to Kohl's and I wanted to find a couple of shirts to go with some cute pants (pink with skulls that had bows on them) and skirts(pirate bandana skirt with capri leggings and a skirt w/ jolly rogers on them) LO got over the weekend. Anyway, while in Kohl's LO needed a stinky diaper change (this always happens in Kohl's), so I went to change her diaper and DH took the boys outside. I happened upon DH and the boys with some strange woman ooohhh and ahhhh over the boys. I bet you can't guess who the strange lady was....

DH's ex-wife.

What? You didn't know he was married previously. Well, he was. To some nasty lady. This was during a bad time in DH's life which included low self-esteem and large quantities of pot. We've lived here for almost 4 years now and this is the first time we've run into her. DH was mortified but it went well. My kids were cute (and clean) and I looked half way decent. Way better than her and that's all that matters.

So how was your weekend?

2007-02-14T07:15:00.000-08:00

I hope you are not coming here for a post about how much I love my husband. You will be sadly disappointed.

I do have to say that when I walked into my office this morning, my boss had arranged a Valentine's gift for me - a bottle of merlot and Ghirardelli dark chocolates (my fave). Last year he gave me flowers and chocolate. I really don't know why my boss is giving me V-day gifts. I really don't think his wife would approve, but hey, I'll take wine from just about anyone.

I also want to bitch about random people wishing me a "Happy Valentine's Day!" It's not like it's Christmas. The only people I want wishing me a happy V-day are people that I love (and love me). I don't need the gas station clerk wishing me a "Happy Valentine's Day!"

If you can't tell, I'm in a bad mood.

2007-02-13T06:48:00.000-08:00

My teenager is technically an adult. She turned 18 in December and has been attending college for almost two years. She has a full time job, a truck that she owns, and comes and goes as she pleases. She is incapable of doing any simple task in the house without someone walking her through it. She asked me last week if I want her to sweep behind the toilet in the bathroom. Do you really need to ask someone that? Her bedroom always looks like a tornado hit it, despite numerous talks about how she needs to keep her room clean. In general, she's a good kid though. She is also residing in our house in the room that we need for the twins. Currently, the twins share a room with their mommy and daddy. This arrangement is really not working out for mommy and daddy. Mommy and daddy would like some alone time. Know what I mean? So I decided that she needs to move out. She completes her college program of study in May of this year. Originally, the plan was she was to live rent-free while in school and then pay $100 a week room and board after that until she decides to move out. So we have altered that plan. She is still living rent-free until she completes school in May and will still pay room and board, until August. Has a little over two months to find a better job and a place to live. She has quite a bit of her financial aid saved up and she is getting a large legal settlement from a car accident. Financially, she is tighter with her money than my boss (which is a lot to say), so she will be fine. I think she is excited about moving out. I did let her know that she is always welcome to come over and that we want to continue to be her family. She may move back to Arizona where her actual family and friends live. I hope not. Her family is more than dysfunctional. Downright scary. Her life has changed so much for the better since she moved here and I would hate to see it regress.

2007-02-09T09:40:00.000-08:00

When you have children you learn a lot more about babies and toddlers than you thought you would. There are many things that you that will surprise, amaze, sadden and enlighten. I feel like everyday I learn something new. You even learn a lot more when you have children of both genders. I have comprised a list of these little tidbits:

Babies sometimes cry in their sleep. It's so very sad. What could they be dreaming about that would warrant crying? Heartbreaking.
It's still very heartbreaking when your toddler cries in the middle of the night because of a dream - a dream she can't even tell you about.
Boys like to play with their penises at a very young age. Very young.
Girls sometimes like to touch themselves too.
The lack of sleep. Dear God, the lack of sleep. It's like you hear about it, but really you cannot understand it until you get there.
That it is perfectly acceptable to have other people's spit, vomit, urine and feces on you - as long as that other person is your child.
A baby's laugh is the most beautiful sound in the world. AND. And you get to carry that sound with you in your heart everywhere.
Two babies laughing together is even better than one.
The "terrible twos" actually last about two years (or more).
Babies and toddlers have an amazing capacity for learning. It's startling how much they learn in just one day.

There are many more such examples. I love experiencing them, the good and the bad, because that means that I am a mom. And I wouldn't change that for anything.

2007-02-06T06:59:00.000-08:00

I have twin sons. Did you know that? Anyway, they turned 8 months over the weekend. My big boys. T1 weighs in 24.5 pounds and T2 at 25.5 (on my mom's bathroom scale - as accurate as that is). I'm still in shock that I have twins. I may never get over it. They (as in "the doctors, pathologist and anyone else" at the hospital) have been unable to determine if my twins are identical or not. They are/were spontaneous twins - as in no medical intervention - and they were in separate ambiotic sacks. Which we learned doesn't mean anything in regards to identical or fraternal. Also, I learned that identical twins don't always look alike. It depends on what the cells do after they separate. Even in rare (I mean like, ultra-rare, but has happened), identical twins can be of different genders. Isn't that freaky? Anyway, if they had the same chorionic sac then they are identical. The doctors couldn't tell after delivery, so unless we pay for a DNA testing, we may never know. I'm saying this because at times, my boys look identical and then a week later, they don't. DH has a seriously hard time telling them apart. Grandma and I don't. But in low light at certain angles, I have difficulty. T2 has a rounder face but they both have the exact same body style (sorry boys - it's in the genes). They have completely different laughs. T1 laughs in his head, T2 in his belly. T2 totally has the Santa laugh. T1 has the hesitant, "I'm not going to let you know I think it's 'that' funny" laugh.
I love that they have different laughs. It melts my heart to see them laugh at the same time.

2007-02-01T06:12:00.000-08:00

...And the skies open up. The sun started shining and angels were singing, "Hallelujah! Hallelujah!"...

My sister's family moved out last night. They got the townhome that is right next to her son's school. This is a blessing since we thought that they were going to have to get a place outside of the district. If that was the case, then my nephew was going to have to stay at my house after school until my brother in law could pick him up at around 5:15pm. Crisis avoided! They are coming over tonight (weather permitting) to get the rest of their stuff and sort out all the toys. The kids' toys have all been intermingled since Christmas.

I'll now need to get Little One back in her bed. Bittersweet for me, since I have enjoyed snuggling with her these last couple of weeks. But it must be done.

2007-01-30T13:03:00.000-08:00

Even though I am the biggest Dork of the Week, our gifts were the hit of the party. Everybody loved them. More importantly, the parents loved them! YAY! Now time to get that second job so I can pay my friends to do my kids!

2007-01-25T10:37:00.000-08:00

I am the biggest Dork of the Week. I had custom ordered this fabulous birthday gift for the parent's of a boy that is turning one this week. It's a photo collage of him throughout the year with his name and birthday. It's beautiful. The nice lady that took my custom order, pictures and information had samples ready for me the next day. I choose the one I liked and had it ordered in 11 X 14 (framed for the parents) and two 5 X 7s (one for each set of grandparents). It came out beautifully. I was so excited to see it framed. Fast forward a couple of days and I call the mom of the boy to wish him a happy birthday. I was a day late. I kept thinking he was born on one date, but in fact he was born a day earlier. It's too late to get a reprint before his party, but the nice lady is having them reprinted with the correct date and sent to me ASAP. I'll still present it and another framed awesome gift from another nice lady who spelled the boy's name out with his pictures (hard to describe, just go to the link to see her great work). I told the mom of the kid that I had his present printed with the wrong date, she just laughed at me. They'll still love it. I'm just embarrassed that I have to present it to them with all of their family around. Oh well, what's a girl to do?

2007-01-23T08:30:00.000-08:00

I guess tagging is the current blog trend right now among my friends. SB tagged me for 6 materialistic things for which I am wishing.

1) A boob job.
2) Pretty bras to go with the boob job.
3) Mini tummy tuck.
4) The perfect jean (in several pairs).
5) A fast internet connection at home.
6) A computer built after 2003 for home use. Preferrably a laptop with wireless Internet connection.

So, since she tagged me, I will tag Erika and Nita and I would tag T but she rarely reads my blog and doesn't blog about herself.

(BTW, I hate the tagging part because I don't want someone to feel left out - so if you want to participate, then do so regardless of tag status)

2007-01-22T08:45:00.000-08:00

Cute story:

Little One and I were playing in the garage yesterday. First we were shooting some hoops, but then the outdoor play kitchen (complete with grill) caught her eye. She said she was going to grill like daddy and I could be the baby. So we played a little until she found a doll and informed me that I have been promoted from baby to mommy and she was still the daddy. She handed the baby to me and told me to, “Take care of the baby, Mommy!” I retorted with, “OK daddy, but I cannot take care of the baby and cook dinner. Do you want to take care of the baby or do you want to cook?”

“I’ll cook. It’s much easier mommy!”

That’s my girl!

2007-01-19T06:21:00.000-08:00

Since I really don't have anything to post about today, I will take a cue from another blog I read.

Five Food Things:

1) I don't eat poutry on the bone. I don't touch poultry on the bone. Boneless, skinless chicken breasts (preferably with all the fat removed). I will eat it if it is removed from the bone without me watching. So no chicken buffalo wings or turkey drumsticks at the Ren Faire (not that there is a Ren Faire where I now live).

2) I don't eat saurkraut. Yuck! My brats are adorned with ketchup, mustard AND mayo.

3) I rarely drink sodas - unless there is alcohol in it. I mostly drink coffee, water, alcoholic beverage (in that order).

4) My current favorite libation is a Cape Cod. Vodka and cranberry juice. YUM!

5) I could eat Mexican food every day of the week!

OK - Lisa, Beth, Beth, Kimberly and Nita - your turn!

2007-01-17T11:27:00.000-08:00

Jeans. Yes, the denim kind. I love to wear them. I use to be able to buy a pair off the rack and have them look good. That is until I had babies. More specifically, until I had twins. Now I have areas that need to be concealed/shielded/held back. So until I get a tummy tuck, I have to find a pair of jeans that look good and fit without giving me a muffin top. You know what I mean. The problem is that in the past I would not spend more than $30 on a pair of jeans. Now that I need "special" jeans it seems that I will need to spend more. Some ladies on our board are talking about really expensive jeans - like around $200 a pair. YIKES! I don't think I could spend that much. I could justify $100 (or less), but where do I find them? We don't have a Macy's or Nordstrom's. I think the best I can do is Dillard's. However, their website leaves a lot to be desired. So I guess I need to go and spend hours trying on jeans. Not like I get a lot of chances to do shopping by myself. L.O. gets bored easy and the twins, well they are still babies.

The other items I have been thinking about are bras. It will be a year or two before I am close to getting my “mommy makeover” so now I need to find bras that fit and look good. Some lace would be nice. And nothing that opens in the front. I am tired of nursing bras.

2007-01-15T07:49:00.000-08:00

As soon as I got home Friday, my sister apologized. She also apologized to DH. So we are good. But on Sunday I noticed she had two lists going: "Buy" and "Bring". I noticed she had milk in the "Buy" column and I told her she didn't need milk since my mom just bought 3 gallons. That's when she told me that she is taking her family to live in an "extended stay" suite/hotel/thing.

This is where you can all beat me over the head with a frying pan.

I told her under no circumstances is she moving her family into one of those places. They need to save their money so that they can move into a more stable home/apartment. She insisted that they leave and I insisted that they stay. Until that time I had not mentioned that I was planning on letting them use LO's room and move my little girl into my room. Since DH won't be sleeping with me, I figured Little One could bunk with me and my sister and family could have her room.

So it's settled. Sister and family are staying and sleeping in LO's room and LO is sleeping with me. Also, my mom said that on the nights that my step-dad is working (graveyards) that she will take T2 so that I can get some sleep. I haven't agreed to that yet, but I am tempted.

My sister did request that I save their money for them. So any money that they have (besides a small allowance for cigarettes and essentials) will be coming to me for save keeping.

2007-01-12T06:38:00.000-08:00

I forgot to tag people for the virtual cocktail party yesterday. So Kimberly, Lisa/OC, and Beth (The Best of...) you're IT!

2007-01-12T05:23:00.000-08:00

You know how politics and religion are really sensitive subjects? They are also two areas in life where people rarely change their mind or can be convinced of another person's ideals. Do you know what is even more sensitive than those? Parenting. Yep, discussing and criticizing someone's parenting in not a good idea. Do you want to know how I know this? Because my sister and I had a major blow out last night.

It started at dinner time, when LO starting copying her cousin (who refuses to eat anything for dinner other than buttered bread, but insists - and receives - cookies after the bread is finished). And maybe my approach wasn't the best one at the time, but I told LO not to copy her cousin and finish her meal. She was also reminded that she would not get a cookie if she didn't finish. So she started with, "But M------ gets a cookie!" I followed with, "Well, M------'s parents decide whether she gets a cookie for not eating, but in my house we don't."

That comment sparked a conversation about how kids copy each other and bring it home from school. So I spouted off with, "The values and skills that you teach your children at home should help them deal with what they face in school. Yes, they will bring stuff home, but what we do as parents when they do bring it home sets an example for the children." This escalated into her interpreting me as saying her children are a bad influence and she is a bad parent. She isn't a bad parent (believe me, we all know what bad parenting is), she's just a lazy parent. She really didn't like that and then proceeded to fling insults on the way I parent LO. She insisted that I coddle (sp) LO, but could not cite examples. She had plenty of examples of DH coddling. I did agree that I give LO way more warnings, but I also FOLLOW up with my threats. I also don't threaten with actions that I have no intention of following through. Like threatening that if they don't eat dinner, then they won't get anything else tonight. Or threatening that if they don't quit whining that they will smack them (this is a common threat from their father, who has only smacked my nephew's heiney once since they have been here, but he threatens it multiple times a day).

The other issue discussed was the assumption that my sister can work and my mom will watch her kids. I told her that I don't appreciate the assumption and that she should've came to me about it. She said that since she would not have had a problem with it, so she thought that I wouldn't. I explained that that was not the point. Also, since she takes issue with the way my mom disciplines (very much like my style), that it wouldn't work out. That topic ended with me letting her know that I don't mind our mom watching the kids as long as she lets our mom discipline them and that she (my sister) will support it.

I also told her that while living in my house, as long as her kids are awake, one of their parent's needs to be awake and watching the children. My mom came upstairs to the kitchen while everyone was napping and found my nephew in the kitchen with scissors and a granola bar. I don't have any six year old's, so I am not sure about scissor etiquette, but I am thinking that they should have child safety scissors - but these were our kitchen scissors that he had to have climbed on the counter to get. Also, he is not good about putting things away. And his sister is notorious for cutting hair, expensive sheets, furniture while having access to scissors. My sister countered with, "I can't help it if N----- doesn't wake me up when he wakes up. I've told him over and over to do it." (I didn't say this, but I wish I did - If he doesn't wake you up, then punish him. When you wake up and find your children awake, then provide consequences to their actions.) The other thing is that it is very difficult to wake my sister up. My mom tried for 15 minutes to wake her up one day so that she could get N----- from the bus. She never woke, so my mom had to go meet the bus to get him.

All that to say, it ended on a bad note. My sister left the room saying that she is packing up her family and leaving tomorrow (today) for Utah where her DHs other family lives since they don't have a problem with her kids. While I don't see that happening, and I hope it doesn't. This situation is way F'ed up and the only way we can get passed it is them getting their own place. Which isn't going to be soon enough.

ONE MORE THING: He got the third shift job and starts Monday. *sigh*

Really, there is not enough alcohol.

2007-01-11T06:48:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Beth ( http://www.lalalaland.com/ ) I have something for which to post.

5 things you didn't know about me (which is really difficult because all of my readers know quite a bit about me):

1) That is sickens me everytime I end a sentence with a preposition. I know it's wrong, but I do it anyway.

2) I use to bite my fingernails completely off. Now I just pick at my cuticles and on rare occasion, will bite the tip off.

3) I am very upset at myself that my daughter is biting her fingernails.

4) My body is covered in freckles and moles (the flat kind) and I have a serious of moles in the shape of the Big Dipper and another in the shape of Orion on my abdomen.

5) When I drink too much, I black out. I am "functional" but I don't remember anything that happens. Dangerous to do this outside of your home. So I don't.

2007-01-10T06:45:00.000-08:00

I got 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep last night. The most I've had in a while. I actually feel refreshed. T2 is not sleeping well. He is congested and everything we are doing is not enough. Believe me, we are doing everything they say to do. And when I say "we" I mean "me" since I am the only one up with him at night.

DHs work is d!cking around with him. He likes his job and he likes his shift (except for not seeing me) and he likes the people he works with. YAY! Now they are telling him he has to transfer to the production side (instead of the service center). They have a few departments in the production center that need avionics technicians. Some with day shift jobs and some with THIRD SHIFT. They are also forcing him to interview for positions he doesn't even want. I know you are all saying he should blow the interview, but we don't want that to backfire. Trying not to burn bridges, if ya know what I mean. I would love for him to move to day shift, but if he ends up not liking his supervisor or co-workers, then it is going to suck big time for him (and me and everybody else that lives with us). Third shift is totally unacceptable to me. That's just not going to work. An old man like my DH can't be expected to work that shift. He already has a hard time dealing with second shift.

*sigh*

2007-01-05T09:00:00.000-08:00

I really don't want to deal with this sh!t while I am on my period, but Life doesn't let you decide.

This morning my MIL called me to discuss the fact that she is worried about my marriage. She never gets involved in other people's affairs (reference to "Clerks"). So that is what made this phone call so...different. Anyway, DHs mom and dad split when he was in high school. She says that FIL got depressed (read: mid-life crisis) and they ended up not meeting each other's needs. I reassured her that I don't let stuff go unsaid. I told her that DH and I had a long conversation on Sunday to deal with what has been festering. We worked it out, sort of. Since our major stressors are still living with us, we just have to deal. For now, he and I will try to be more respectful of each other and not take things too personal. She did bring up a few instances of strife between DH and his brother that happened over the holidays. Her main point though - she thinks that my sister and family need to move out. Really? Wow! We thought it was working just fine. BTW, do you have $1000 to give them? If not, then we have to wait until they can save enough to move and since they get their first paycheck today and it is all going to car insurance, it looks like we still have to wait a bit.

She wants to have a similar conversation with DH and asked that I don't mention to him our conversation. I told her that blind-sighting DH was not a good idea and would lead him on the defensive. She agreed to let me "warn" him, but that she is going to call him tomorrow.

Fast forward a couple of hours: I called my sister and told her that we need to have a family discussion about everything. I just need to know what the plan is. She is a play it as it comes kind of gal and I am not. I need to see steps being taken to meet a goal. I kept that phone call lively and not at all too serious. A few minutes later my mom called me and asked what she and I talked about. Apparently, after she hung up she started crying. Crap.

Stick a fork in me, I am done.

2007-01-04T07:16:00.000-08:00

I promised y’all that I had a lot to say. And I do. First, and foremost, I need to change the name of my blog. I am no longer crunchy. I want to be. I tried. Life is getting in the way. I don’t cloth diaper my children anymore. It went from full-time, to part-time, to just overnights. Not even that anymore. With the 12 people in our house and the one washer/dryer, it’s just not working. When my sister and family leave we will revisit the CDing thing.

The other “no longer crunchy” thing is the big one. The twins are weaned. It hurts just to type it. I knew supplementing was evil and destroys a nursing relationship. But really, I had no choice. Nursing two very hungry, very big boys was taking too much from me. I know it’s my fault. I controlled the situation and I failed. But, the boys are healthy and thriving. So I could beat myself up (more) or I can just continue on. I’m going to try to get over it, but I know there will be times that I am sad over what I did. Just counting it as one of my failures in life.

I still wear my babies. I get lots of compliments on the ring slings that my dear friend, OC, made me. They are so comfortable. Even my sister was using one this weekend while caring for T1.

As for changing the name of my blog, I’m too lazy, ahhh – busy to do that now.

On to other updates:

I’m going crazy in my house. Yesterday, I pulled into the driveway and just started crying. I was torn. I wanted to see my kids. But just MY kids. My nephew is the whiniest 6 year old on the planet. As soon as you tell him to do something, or stop doing something, he starts crying. My mom and I have a rule, no crying without a reason. Injury? OK to cry. Feelings hurt? OK to cry. Told to stop throwing a ball in the house? NOT OK TO CRY. For my child, she is warned that if she doesn’t stop crying she will sit in the rocking chair in the kitchen. She gets a count to 3, and if she is still crying, then off to the chair. Apparently, this is not acceptable to my sister. My nephew was crying (for no reason – his dad was making him eat dinner instead of playing) and my mom says, “There is no crying for no reason in this house.” My sister replies with, “well, do you want me to give him a reason?” UHHHH, no. Put him in the rocking chair in the kitchen. So my sister proceeds to say, “Just let him cry. It’s not going to hurt to just let him cry.”

Maybe you put up with that shit in your house, but you are in my house sista. I don’t. That is why so many strangers and relatives talk about how sweet and well-mannered my daughter is compared to our entire family discussing how annoying your kids are.

Also, my sister applied for a job. She has not discussed daycare options with my mother or me. I wonder what she plans on doing. I discussed it with my mom. Three issues:
1) My sister does not discipline her children and my mom says that if she does follow up with what my mom does, then my mom does not want to watch her kids.
2) It’s my house, and your kids are tearing it apart and are a bad influence on my child.
3) They have one car. One. How is that going to work?

My teenager is driving me crazy. She is eighteen now. She thinks she can tell me what to do in my house. She found out that she is mistaken. She is going back to Arizona on Tuesday to visit friends and family. She is planning on seeing her mother. I hope she gets out of it what she is wanting. I’m afraid it will be a disaster of which I have to pick up the pieces.

The stress of everything is causing problems in my marriage. Instead of communicating, we are spitting words at each other. I forced him to sit down and discuss our issues. They all stem from the stress. We are going to try to be more respectful to each other. And he’s going to try and do more laundry.

2007-01-03T06:15:00.000-08:00

I have not forgotten all (5) of my readers. We have had year end inventory and clean up, so I actually have been busy at work. I have much to post about, although most of it requires a little cheese with my whine.

2006-12-20T07:26:00.000-08:00

We all deal with stress in different ways. Me? I drink. No, wait! Did I say that? Oh well. Usually I vent. Here mostly or on my web board. Just getting it out helps. I also live each day at a time. I like to plan ahead, but I know I just need to get through today. I’ll worry about tomorrow when I get there. Having children forced me into that frame of mind. In the last couple of years I’ve sailed through some pretty serious stressful situations. They all sucked at the time, but now…now they are over and I made it. I got through it just fine. Maybe a little further in debt, but that’s fixable. I am healthy (except for the extra 20 pounds), my kids are healthy and my husband is mostly healthy. I say “mostly” because he is old (9 years older than me) and he whines too much. But I digress.

I have some friends that are going through some serious stressful situations. Really sick kids, depression, and failed fertility issues to name a few. I don’t know what to say to them. I just want to hug them and tell them that everything will be alright. That it will all work out in the end. But getting there, to the end, that is the hard part. The journey is long and hard. Fraught will emotional and physical pain. I want my friends to know that despite how busy I am. Despite the lack of telephone calls and emails, that I am thinking of you. S, N, T and K – I think of you often and hope that my positive thoughts reach you. I am also thinking of some of the other ladies on my web board that are having a difficult time - hoping they can get to the end soon.

2006-12-14T08:02:00.000-08:00

Hmmmm…

What to write about?

I could write about the odd package that my teenager’s mother sent her. The one that was supposed to have been shipped last Christmas. This package included a desiccated orange, fake fur head muff, cufflets, and caplet, and some random stuffed animal for the Little One. And a promise to send one out for this Christmas and her 18th birthday. We will see.

Or I could write about how my sister and family are spiraling me into chaos. How loud and annoying her four year old’s whining can wake my husband – who works nights and has to sleep during the day. My sister assumed that my mom would watch all five kids while she and her husband smoke cigarettes outside or leave to go shopping. Even better? Not only is my BIL looking for a job, so is my sister. She told me that since her son will be in school, she can work while my mom watches her daughter. Oh! But she’ll pay my mom something for food. That’s not the point dear! My mom has her hands full already. And I know you. It wouldn’t just be while you are working. You’ll need to run errands and have my mom watch your son as well. Am I sounding selfish? Well, maybe I am. When my boys are asleep, my mom gets one on one time with L.O. This time is like a mini-preschool. They go over numbers, letters, social skills, etc. My mom isn’t going to have time to do that if she is watching my sister’s kids too. Besides, my sister has had four jobs in the last 4 months because she cannot get her ass to work. Granted, she has a pretty serious anxiety disorder and any changes in her life affect it dearly. I totally get that. That is why she is a SAHM. But I don’t need the constant changes in her life to affect my – or my children’s – lives.

Or I could write about how my son still, STILL, will not sleep. Well, he IS sleeping, but not like he use to. He’ll sleep for 8 hours from around 3am to 11ish. That doesn’t really work for my schedule. My mom is trying something different today. Let’s see if it works.

2006-12-08T06:23:00.000-08:00

If sleep deprivation is a form of torture and our government is under fire for allegedly using said torture, then why the hell is it socially acceptable for mothers to walk around as zombies because their babies are not letting them sleep. There should be some huge social outcry for new moms. We are slowly being tortured by repeated lack of sleep.

I did not get one wink of sleep last night. Not one. Something is wrong with T2 that is causing him to not sleep. He's crying and crying and crying with no relief. It's either his ears or his teeth. Ugh.

2006-12-06T06:47:00.000-08:00

This blog post is about my recent lack of sleep. I know that some of my Mommy friends (especially new Mommies) are not getting any sleep either. I feel sorry for them, really I do. But this is my blog, and I'll cry if I want to.

Saturday night was date night. We went to the late showing at a comedy club and then went to a bar afterwards. Got into bed around 2:30am (would have been later, but see my previous post). A little known fact about me: when I drink a lot, I don't sleep well. So I was up by 7am on Sunday. Sunday and Monday nights I did not get to bed earlier than 11:30, because T2 decided he was not going to bed on time. Last night, my sister and family showed up, so we were up until 11:30pm and when I thought I was going to sleep, T2 woke up. He wanted to nurse and sleep with mommy. Which means he sleeps and I cat nap, waiting for DH to come home and pry T2 from my arms. DH doesn't come upstairs until 2:30am. Last time I looked at the clock before the alarm rang at 5am it was 2:47am.

Now I can handle a night or two of little sleep. But Momma needs her beauty rest. Especially since Momma has to get her fat ass up and go to work.

BTW, my sister and family showed up last night. I'm sure I will blog more about it. I can say that they already drank all the beer in the house. I'm sure DH is thrilled about that.

2006-12-04T14:16:00.000-08:00

My Dear Friend,

It has been awhile since we last danced together. September 28, 2005 to be exact. I have not seen you since that week and I have not missed you. You are so much trouble to be around. A major inconvenience, yet I need you. Your presence indicates that everything is fine. I knew you would be visiting soon. I just wished you hadn’t prefaced your attendance with a month of pain and agony. I was an emotional wreck. I could hardly eat for the nausea. The pain has begun in waves, which led to the certainty of your visit. Yet, you never showed. I was getting worried. Surely signs of your visit should not last this long, but still you delayed.

Finally you showed. The timing not quite right. My dear husband was taking me out on a date – a night on the town. Your company dampened the mood.

At least the pain is gone.

Sincerely,
Your long-time friend (at least for another 20 years or so)

2006-12-01T09:14:00.000-08:00

My teenager's mother called her for the first time in over a year yesterday. You send your child half-way across the country and you call her once a year. It makes me sick. The teenager said her mother wasn't making any sense and rambled on. Not once asking how her daughter is doing. Again, I'm going to be sick.

(A little reminder: my teenager's mother is one of my older sisters. Not the sister moving in with me. That would never happen in a million years. She can live on the streets for all I care.)

2006-11-30T13:50:00.000-08:00

So my sister, her husband and their two kids (boy 6, girl 4) are moving here from Arizona. Excited? I am. Scared? Yes. You see, they are moving in with us. They are selling (or leaving) all of their possessions and jumping in their minivan on Monday. Apparently, they were legally evicted from their rental home in Phoenix and have 5 days to leave before the sheriff comes and physically removes them. Nice, huh?

I love my sister. We have a lot of fun together. Her daughter and my daughter will be able to play together. And if I need a babysitter other than my mom, then she is the likely candidate. But she comes with some issues. You probably know the first one: her inability to manage finances. Her husband made a decent living in Phoenix, but they opted to pay their $400 phone/internet/cable TV bundle over their rent. Not that their rent was only $400, but you get the picture. She has severe anxiety disorder and every time it flares, she threatens to leave her husband. She does not take her medications because they cannot afford it, however both her and her husband smoke cigarettes. Do you know how much ciggies cost today? She doesn’t discipline her children and lets them get away with much more than I. This isn’t necessarily a problem in her home, but they will be living with me. I guess my niece and nephew are going to find out how mean I am! LOL! She’s got several other issues which you may hear more about now that she is going to be living with us and eventually near us.

So anyway…I might be a little stressed over the coming weeks. Please bear with me.

2006-11-28T13:05:00.000-08:00

WTF!!!

Seriously, is this a joke?

I'll post more about this tomorrow. When the shock has worn off.

2006-11-28T09:03:00.000-08:00

So I haven’t posted in awhile. I don’t post while at home and I had a long weekend. It seems that everybody was posting what they are thankful for on Thanksgiving. So why not jump on the bandwagon – albeit a little late?

My children. It was a year ago Thanksgiving that we announced to family that we are having twins. And boy, what a year it has been. I am thankful for healthy babies and healthy toddlers. The twins are growing fast and squishy and Little One is as precocious as ever.

My teenager. You aren’t technically mine, but I am claiming you. I remember when I was 14 and my then 17 year old sister gave birth to you. I told myself that when I was 18, I would sue for custody because I knew my sister would not do a good job. I am sorry I waited 16 years. Hopefully, I can make a difference now.

My mom. Without you, we would either be struggling to pay daycare or struggling on one income. I know you made sacrifices. Thank you.

My friends. You know who you are. Without you, I would not have made it. Really. I needed you the most over the past year and you were there for me. I hope I can return the love.

My husband. Even though you drive me crazy. Even though you do and say some of the stupidest things. Even though you try and change and then revert. I’m still in love with you. I still get excited to see you. I still want to feel you snuggle next to me when you come home from work. Thank you for being there.

2006-11-21T06:43:00.000-08:00

Flowers, a nice note, and a cleaned house. He's finally figuring it out.

2006-11-20T12:15:00.000-08:00

I purposely have not posted since Wednesday. Why? You ask. Because my wonderful DH got in yet another car accident (his fault) on Thursday. Just three short months ago, he was following someone too closely and got in a fender bender. Pretty much the same thing happened on Thursday. The reason I purposely did not post? Because I would have said things that I would have had to delete. Since I have been a frequent rider in his cars, I have mentioned that he tailgates too much. He would protest and continue to do so. I quit harassing him and let him do it. He's a better driver with the kids in the car (thankfully). When I picked him up from his accident he tells me that I can say, "I told you so." That's not what I wanted from him.

It's just so frustrating because the first time he got in a fender bender, I didn't say anything. Knowing that accidents happen and that he would learn from this accident and do better. Apparantly I was wrong. He didn't learn. Plus, his SUV is undrivable. Insurance will pay for it, minus the $500 deductible (which I am pulling out of my ass, btw) and insurance will pay for a rental. So we are not too bad off. No one was hurt in the fender bender either. Things for which to be thankful.

Oh and the plumber just left our house with $80 of mine. Seriously, it's not like I have to buy presents for Christmas or anything. Oh wait...I do.

2006-11-15T06:41:00.000-08:00

I found heaven. It's on the massage table. I went for another massage last night. Seriously, for 30 minutes I was nothing. And that is exactly what I wanted to be. Not a mom, maid, wife, lover, friend, daughter, worker, driver... I was a ball of skin and flesh having it's toxins rubbed out. AND IT FELT AMAZING!

I'm going in again next month. After the holidays, I will splurge for the 60 minute massage.

2006-11-13T07:59:00.000-08:00

I am the worst mom ever.

Mondays are typically “story time” days for the toddler and DH. He takes her to the local library where they do crafts and read stories, and then they head to the cheeseburger place for lunch. A little “daddy time” for the little one. DH asked that I set his alarm for an hour earlier this morning, so I’m totally thinking he’s going to story time. I even tell my mom this morning that DH is waking at 8:30am to go to story time.

Here’s where I F’ed up. DH has a dentist appointment this morning. When he got out of bed and headed downstairs for coffee, Little One runs up to him and says, “See Daddy! I’m all ready for story time!” He had to tell her that they were not going to story time.

So not only did my mom get L.O. up and ready a little earlier than usual, I also made DH tell her that she was in fact, NOT going to story time today.

UGH! I feel horrible!

2006-11-10T06:49:00.000-08:00

Look kid, I know you have these new teeth and all. I'm sure they are quite dandy. But the deal is, they are just for show right now. Sure, you will get to use them later, but for now quit bitting my nipples and shaking your head like a dog with a new toy! DAMN THAT HURTS!

And it's not funny either. So quit laughing about it when you are done.

2006-11-08T06:12:00.000-08:00

*sigh*

2006-11-07T07:26:00.000-08:00

If you pay attention (and don't already know), I'm about to give a clue as to which state I reside.

Our polls do not open until 7:30am. Not 7am as I originally thought, or 6am as they did in a previous state of residence. So for me, I either had the option of waiting the 30min for grandma and grandpa to open the doors or come back after work. However, I am donating blood after work today (as I do every 60 days - except when I am pregnant) and do not have the time to vote after work.

Ok, I'm done bitching. And I voted. So you should too. GO VOTE! Even if you are not voting the way I would, I still want you to be a part of the process.

2006-11-06T08:50:00.000-08:00

How long does it take to go to bed at night?

For me: change into jammies and brush teeth - 5minutes, top

For Little one: (not counting bathtime and teeth brushing - because, frankly, those don't happen every night)

30 freaking minutes. Yes, thirty minutes. Here's the ritual:

First we have to get her upstairs with Princess Pillow, Pink Blankie, Purple Blankie, Babo and the newly added Fishie. (side note: all of these items come downstairs when she wakes up) Then it's diaper changing time wherein she has to gather all of the supplies in a specific order and we change her diaper. She has to pick out her own pajamas and is usually requesting ones that have not been washed yet. Next she gets to pick out two stories before bed. This process involves pulling 10 or more books off of her bookshelf saying, "No. Not that one," then throwing them on the floor. She decides which one is read first and they have to be read while we are sitting on the floor. This is where I shorten the time up a bit - I don't read every line in the book. If it's a shorter book, then I will. But some of her books are really long and well...I cheat. So sue me.
OK, book is read now the fun begins. We have to "fwap" everything to get it into the bed. "Fwap"ing is a process by which she holds one end of the object and I hold the other and we shake it up and down - but we have to count to 3 first. She use to make us count to 15, but I stopped that! Fwap Princess Pillow, Pink Blankie, Purple Blankie, Babo and Fishie - in that order only! Next she has to turn off the light and I finally get her into the bed.
But we are not done yet.
We get all the blankies on her and the animals situated. Then I have to give kisses and hugs to everyone. And when I am done, she wants to start over. How do you tell your child that you are done giving her kisses and hugs? I hate that, but I have to put an end to it eventually. And her last ditch effort to stay awake is a fake cough and "I'm coughing. I need a drink." I absolutely refuse to allow her to have a sippy in bed. So I get a sippy and put a small amount of water in it. Watch her take a cursory drink and then I put the sippy on her dresser.
I finally get to leave the room.

OH! I forgot to tell you. 5 nights out of 7, I have a baby on my hip while we do this.

2006-11-02T11:29:00.000-08:00

UPDATE: The specialist said that it's an infection. Gave him an RX for an antibiotic. The specialist also told DH that he's getting old.

So yes, I worried for nothing. Just glad it'll go away.

2006-11-02T05:59:00.000-08:00

I hope this cheers you up some!

2006-11-01T07:02:00.000-08:00

Remind me to make sure that I hook the cup part of my nursing bra before I answer the door for trick or treaters.

Not that the poor little lion at the door saw anything, but his mom might appreciate me looking less like a Jerry Springer guest.

2006-11-01T06:34:00.000-08:00

Overkill?

5 oversized bags of candy for 4 trick or treaters.

YEP! Overkill.

2006-11-01T06:22:00.000-08:00

My daughter can melt my heart. This morning I hear screaming and crying from her room at 6:45am (a couple of hours early for waking up). I run upstairs into her room and she cries, "I lost my hugs and kisses!"

Apparently, she lost the hugs and kisses I gave her before she went to bed and needed more in order to stay asleep.

This story brings to mind a story one of my friends posted in her blog: http://all-about-erika.blogspot.com/2006/03/saving-kisses.html

2006-10-26T06:13:00.000-07:00

To all of you that are concerned:

It's not me, it's DH. I'm really not going to go into details here on the blog. It could be just something minor (after thorough Googling), but we just don't know. And it is taking forever for our doctor's office to come up with an appointment for a specialist. It's more frustrating than worrisome.

LMAO! I figured y'all would know it was DH by the lack of questions at the doctors office!

2006-10-25T13:17:00.000-07:00

So say you are doing something. And you notice something about your body that is not right. Not right enough to call the doctor and make an appointment for the next day. You see the doctor, answer her questions and she has some lab tests done. Of course, you don’t ask what tests, when the results will be in, or even if you should stop doing the thing you were doing in the first place. Anyway…5 days and several phone calls later you get the test results back and they are normal. So now you are being referred to a specialist. Don’t tell me that it’s good your tests came back normal. Seeing a specialist is not a good thing. That means something “specialized” is wrong with you. What I wanted to hear was that you had an elevated white blood count and here is an antibiotic that will clear up your infection in 10 days. Not that they don’t know what is wrong with you and so now you have to see this specialist that can’t get you in for two weeks (or however long it is going to be since they haven’t called you yet for the appointment).

Now, I don’t normally worry about something until I actually have something to worry about. But this thing that’s wrong is not good. I know you feel the same way.

2006-10-24T09:22:00.000-07:00

There is so much I want to say. So much I need to say.

A little over a year ago I found out I was pregnant. Kind of funny, since I took the pee test on the Friday before my Monday appointment with my gyno for my yearly exam. I cried. These were not tears of joy. I was afraid. The timing really could not have been worse. DH and I were having problems. We had recently won guardianship of my teenage niece and were struggling under a pile of debt due to the legal battles. We had decided to wait until the teenager was gone before we had another child – if we had another child. DH’s depression was worsening due to his job and his insistence that he didn’t need to take his meds anymore. The one time in six weeks that we have sex, we had a condom malfunction. I didn’t think much of it, since we had difficulty conceiving our one child. I was wrong. And now, now I was afraid of the future. Afraid that I could not give enough of myself to make this work. Afraid of the impending pregnancy, which I don’t handle well. Afraid of how DH was going to handle this. Afraid of how my daughter and niece would take it. Afraid of how my boss would take yet another maternity leave and afraid of the financial impact of the unpaid maternity leave. I was in a daze. Complete shock for quite awhile. Little did I know it was going to get worse.

So my gyn (now ob), confirmed the pregnancy and took a bunch of blood for tests and says he’ll see me back in a couple of weeks for an ultrasound to confirm placement of the embryo. Since I have endometriosis, a history of an ectopic pregnancy and I am over 30 years old, we wanted to make sure all was well. The following two weeks dragged into eternity for me. I vacillated between hoping the pregnancy was viable and hoping it wasn’t.

The day before Thanksgiving 2005, DH and I waited in the exam room hopeful. We were going to have a baby and everything else would work itself out. We can get through anything as long as we have each other. Watching my doctor move the wand (?) around my belly and adjusting dials on his ultrasound machine was maddening. Then I saw it. I knew what I saw but it didn’t want to register. DH asks, “Is the baby ok?” “The babies are both fine,” was the answer. He did just say “babies” and “both”. Holy fuck! I’M HAVING TWINS! I didn’t want to believe him. I kept telling him it was an anomaly. LMAO! What did I know?! We saw them. Both little peanuts in their own sacs. And we saw the heartbeats. I had two babies growing inside of me.

That was both the end and the beginning. The end of most of the fear and the beginning of a wonderful new life, with new joys.

So you made it this far? There is a point, I promise.

It began immediately. My friends on the Internet. This group of wonderful, caring, supportive and generous ladies. Although I didn’t know it at the time, a secret folder on our message board was dedicated to me and my little peanuts. An outpouring of generosity and hope. Kept in the dark (but somewhat suspicious of certain questions and threads), these ladies opened their hearts and their pocketbooks to help me and my family. They devoted their time and energy to help make my life easier. I’ve never felt more loved. They shipped clothes, donated material, knitted wool soakers (Arlene) and sleep sacks (Michelle), and sewed over 100 prefold diapers (thank you Nita). All of this without letting me know. We received a car seat, special stroller, special nursing pillow, new cloth diapers, ring slings (hand made by OC), new and used clothing, diaper stuffers, and much, much more! Even handmade items for my little girl (thanks Jules)! I could just list everybody. You are all amazing women and there are not enough words in the world to thank you enough. Every one of you made this new life better. You helped me cope. You encouraged me through the physical and emotional pain. You let me whine and cry and bitch and moan – without complaint. You gave me (cyber) hugs when I needed them. You listened to me and made me feel needed and wanted and loved and appreciated.

I will do everything in my power to reciprocate, because that’s what real friends do. And you are my real friends. Thank you.

2006-10-19T06:20:00.000-07:00

This is Babo. He is an Ugly Doll(tm).

Babo, meet the Internet.

Internet, meet Babo.

Babo is in trouble.

He keeps jumping out of Little One's bed in the middle of the night. Little One cries tears of panic when Babo leaves her bed. In the last two weeks, this has happened 5 times.

This is not acceptable.

I undestand that there is not a lot of room in the toddler bed for both Babo and L.O. So, we are in search of a bigger bed. We are thinking a daybed with a trundle. However, it will be a couple of months before we purchase a new bed.

Babo, you need to stay in bed. If that means I chain you to a side rail, I will!

2006-10-18T08:48:00.000-07:00

Unbelievable!

I had my first professional massage yesterday. And I say "first" because I have scheduled another one. It was fantastic! I think this is something I will do for myself about once a month. It's a "me time" thing and I deserve it.

I will also be purchasing massages as gifts. I already gave one to my mom as a "thank you for everything you do" type of thing.

The only downside to the massage was that is was after work and my breasts leaked milk on the sheets. The masseuse laughed and said that I'm not the first. She is also pre-natal certified. Dang, I should have done this while pregnant.